Pin the Tail on the Map

We still don’t know which way to point the car on Sunday. We have next week off but we have zero plans for it. We’ve arranged for someone to stay at the house with the pets, so we know we’re leaving town. So, let’s just tease out some of the possibilities right here. Remember, we’re driving, so we can’t consider any exotic locations. Just regular ones.

North: Michigan is lovely at this time of year…it’s wonderfully appealing when it’s hot and humid in the Ohio River Valley, but it’s not. It’s crapping chilly here right now. I’m in flannel pants and a long-sleeved shirt as I write this. I wish I were hot and I wish I wanted to head to the Upper Peninsula for relief, but with this crazy weather, they’re probably snowmobiling there already.

South: Nashville and Memphis are South and Southwest of us. I’ve been really really really wanting to go to Memphis. I have no idea why. I don’t even love Elvis, though I do want to see Graceland. I want to hear some Blues, but I don’t drink alcohol and I go to bed before most of the bands start playing. I just get so sleepy. I wish I could stay up all night and listen to Blues in some smoky bar, but I think that’s all a fantasy for me these days. And the thought of Memphis during the daytime does not excite me. Nashville might be okay. Same bad deal about the music, though. I miss a lot going to sleep at 9:30. If we went to Nashville and then to Memphis, we could head over to Arkansas and the Ozarks. Never been there.

East: North Carolina catches our attention. We’ve been to Hilton Head a few times (I’m not a big fan of HH…too controlled), and Myrtle Beach (nor am I a fan of Myrtle Beach…too redneck. Sorry…but when people wear black Nascar t-shirts on the beach, it’s redneck. White t-shirts only on a beach. Or washed-out pastels. And sandals. No close-toed shoes on a beach. And socks? Don’t get me started. Socks should not be packed in any suitcase headed for a beach). Anyway, the Outer Banks may be worth visiting. Heidi and Cathy and family go to Oak Island every summer and rent a beach house and love it. I don’t know if I’ll love it. I think I like a wilder type of beach.

West: No. There’s really nothing west of us.

Deb keeps wanting to pack the golf clubs, so no matter which way we choose, I have a feeling it’ll lead through Maggie Valley. And I think I’m not going to like Maggie Valley. But 20-something years ago, I didn’t think I would like Sanibel either. But I really don’t think I’m going to like Maggie Valley. And I am not dressing up for dinner. Anywhere.

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I Will Not Dress Up for Dinner

Tommie and I have new golf shoes, and we look very cool on the course. I just kept looking down at my shoes as we all played golf together yesterday thinking, “I LOVE these shoes.”  Of course, I have that new fancy TaylorMade Burner that can really bonk the ball out there, so I may have the overall equipment edge until Tommie replaces her ancient clubs.

Here’s what we’ve always known but rediscovered yesterday: Mary and Deb LOVE golf. They love thinking about it; they love working on their games; they love practice; they love lessons; they love playing; they love replaying every hole in conversation afterward as if we weren’t all there to see it first hand.

Tommie and I love Mary and Deb, so we play, too…and we’re good golfers (okay, we’re VERY good…at least Tommie is). But Tommie and I love to play only about 14 of the 18 holes. After 14 or 15 holes, we’d rather sit on the patio and have a cold drink and eat chips and salsa. Mary and Deb would forget the food and play until it gets too dark to see the ball.

I think we’re planning a little 3-day golf trip to Maggie Valley in North Carolina’s Smoky Mountains; but I’ve heard that you have to dress up for dinner in the Maggie Valley lodge, and I’m not going anywhere where I have to dress up for dinner.

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